What is Transgender Euphoria?
Yes, I did mean to write EUphoria, NOT dysphoria. I imagine you have heard a lot about dysphoria – the intense and excruciating knowing that our gender is out of alignment. Not enough discussion though of gender euphoria- the blissful feeling of your gender being exactly as your soul yearns for. Indeed, not every transgender person experiences gender euphoria, just like not all suffer gender dysphoria. We are not all the same, nor are all cisgender people after all.
There are many examples of when a person might experience gender euphoria, such as:
- When you finally realize that you are transgender. You at last have a reason for all the confusion in your body and mind. It’s like eventually finding the key to open the lock, from the last huge bunch of them!
- Filling your first prescription for gender alignment hormones. Knowing that soon your body will look the way you desperately need and wish it to.
- Putting on your first binder, watching the breasts disappear, turning to your side and looking in the mirror
- Trying on a beautiful delicate bra, glancing in the mirror and beaming at your reflection
- Meeting other transgender people and immediately feeling like you have finally met your Tribe. Looking around to see other people like you, beautiful humans radiating strength and delight in being authentic
For myself, as a gender Queer AFAB, the standout moment of gender euphoria was waking up from drastic breast reduction surgery (85% removed). I chose to keep small breasts as my gender identity encompasses multiple genders which appear as they wish. For 30 years I have lugged around what felt like udders. They instantly symbolised that I was just female, and were fetishized. I spent decades wearing two firm bras at a time, showering in the dark, forbidding partners from touching them. Every time they moved, I felt sick.
It wasn’t until I met my Transgender wife that I had the freedom in a relationship to be any gender I needed to at any time of the day. Suddenly I felt free, released, my male parts were delighted. She also stated that if I even wanted my breasts removed completely I could, she just wanted me to be less distressed. As I looked down my body whilst lying in the post op recovery bed, I could see my feet!! Oh my God, no mountains in the way. In the space of two hours my life changed forever. I can remember running up and down the stairs after healing, delighted that my little breast barely moved. I could buy ANY bra off the shelf! What???! I can easily bind as well, on my very male days. THIS is euphoria my friends
At the end of one of my many podcast interviews ( yes I talk EVEN more than I write!), I was asked how I felt that my gender and sexual identity had held me back! I actually guffawed on video! I quickly replied in a rather terse tone that my gender and sexual identities (as I have many genders so prefer plural) liberate me. I don’t need to fulfil a specific role which society determines for me. I can be sexually attracted to any gender and sexuality, at any time. If we were all treated like being our own unique species, with our character and values being how we were seen (not skin colour, gender, faith, religion, sexuality, weight etc)…imagine how beautiful the World could be!!