What actually is Sex Counselling? How does it benefit me?
Our sexual happiness is a huge part of our overall wellbeing. Our sexuality is not only how we connect intimately to others but it has been shown that we have a great sex life our mental health, physical health, self confidence and relationships all improve.
We all deserve a life filled with pleasure. But knowing what we want (and how to ask for it!) holds many of us back from great sex and intimacy. This is especially true in the LGBTQIA+ community, where sexual shame, stigma, lack of education, or lack of confidence can hold people back from accessing the intimacy, pleasure and sexual liberation they deserve.
Alice is a Sexologist who combines mindfulness, coaching, education and counselling techniques to help people get out of their heads and into their bodies. No matter what you are curious about, she will hold a safe space free of judgment, giving you practical exercises, tools and vocabulary to help you achieve your goals.
Below are a number of areas that her work covers:
– Sexual exploration and sexuality
– Helping you get more sexual and body confidence
– Learn new sexual skills (the sex ed we never got at school but should have!)
– Overcome sexual concerns (eg painful sex, difficulty orgasming, erectile difficulty, premature ejaculation)
– Learn better sexual communication (what you want and how to ask for it!)
– How to increase desire, orgasmicity, and arousal
– How to feel more connected to your body
– Get a deeper understanding of your body anatomy
– Navigate new sexual desires (eg BDSM, kink, tantra, group sex etc.)
– Navigate open relationships and ethical non-monogamy
Alice offers free 15 minute consultations for anyone curious, helping you feel comfortable before committing to a sex counselling session. Click here to access Alice’s profile
What are the benefits of sex counselling / sex coaching / couples counselling?
The benefits of a sex-positive education, sex coaching and couples counselling are numerous and diverse, and include:
– Stronger relationships
– Stronger, better and/or more reliable orgasms
– Better communication (in and outside the bedroom)
– Better self confidence
– Overcoming sexual shame
– Better body confidence, awareness and ownership
– More access to pleasure in our body
– Overcoming sexual concerns – eg performance anxiety
– Improved mental health
– Better physical health
– Better sleep
– Ability to assert sexual boundaries
What does a typical one-on-one session involve?
My sessions are 100% client-led meaning you’re in control. For example, I might give some suggestions of activities or topics for us to explore, and we choose whatever you feel most excited or interested in.
In a first session together we would start with some introductory conversations so that I can better understand what you’re curious about, what your goals are, what you’ve tried before, your level of experience and your current relationship with sex and pleasure. I start to identify key areas for us to work on, and might start giving you practical exercises, games, tools and vocabulary to help you achieve your goals.
What would a typical couples session involve?
Working with couples takes a similar approach, but it’s obviously about understanding and addressing both people’s goals, desiries and concerns. I combine mindfulness, coaching, education and counselling techniques to make sure both people feel supported, heard, and respected.
In a first couples session, I might use a number of different exercises and games to help me understand more about your unique relationship. I would start to explore what intimacy and connection looks like for each of you, how you communicate, what you enjoy (and what you don’t!), what you’ve tried already, what your desires are. I start to identify key areas for us to work on, and give practical exercises, games, tools and vocabulary to help you achieve your goals.
Working as a Sexologist is incredibly rewarding work. I get to see first hand the impact my work has on people’s marriages and relationships as well as their overall sense of intimacy, connection and happiness.
What is Somatic Sexology?
A Sexologist is somebody who has studied the science of sex; learning the anatomy, physiology, psychology, and cultural influences around sex, arousal, desire and pleasure. Somatics is any practice that develops and strengthens the mind-body connection.
Somatic Sexology takes somatic practices and adapts them to teach people how to have better sex. As a Somatic Sexologist, I help people get out of their head, and into their bodies, giving them the tools, language and skills for a happy sex life.
Is sex counselling only for people with ‘sexual issues’?
Absolutely not! Everyone can benefit from sex coaching / sex counselling, even those who have a great sex life already. When it comes to sex and pleasure, the great news is there is always more to discover.
Having an expert-led, shame-free and sex-positive environment can lead to amazing discoveries – just come with an open mind and lots of curiosity.
Why do we need more sex education?
The sex education we received at school is not enough. Many adults know next to nothing about basic sex-ed, including pleasure anatomy, knowing what they like (and how to ask for it), how to express consent, understanding arousal, orgasm and desire, navigating libido changes, and how to listen to their own bodies. This impacts our relationships and people don’t know where to go for help. In addition, we still live in a conservative society where sexual shame is pervasive, and where many of us are still too embarrassed, fearful, or ashamed to talk about sex.
Even if you already have a great sex life, when it comes to sex and pleasure there is always more to discover! And the more curious and open minded you are, the more opportunities for pleasure you will find. Talking to an expert in a judgement-free environment might lead to more discoveries than you expected.
Is it better to come alone or with my partner?
It really depends on what your goals are and whether you feel you would benefit from some 1:1 conversation.
Sex coaching / sex counselling alone allows you to really focus on your own needs, body, desires, and sexual history. Even if you do the sessions on your own, you can often bring your learnings and exercises into your relationship.
Couples Counselling and Couples Sex Coaching is a great way to enhance your sexual connection, communication and exploration as a couple. If you’re wanting to address some relationship issue or concern, coming together is also a good idea.
If you are unsure, I offer a free 15 minute consultation to anybody curious about sex coaching. You can tell me a little bit more about what’s going on for you, and we can work out the best approach together.
I really want to come with my partner, but don’t know how to tell them about it?
This is a very common question, and it might feel scary to know how to broach the subject for the first time.
If this is the case, try and talk about the potential benefits, or things you are curious about, rather than focusing on what’s ‘wrong’ with your relationship. You could also my website with them so they can look at it in their own time.
If you’re still worried, I also offer free 15 minute consultations if you’d like the opportunity to meet together.
How often should I book in a session?
This completely depends on your schedule and goals, but I’d recommend either weekly, fortnightly or monthly.
Does sex coaching involve sex or nudity?
My sessions are educational and take place fully clothed. They are not sexual in nature.
Will you give me homework?
Absolutely! But as the pursuit of pleasure shouldn’t feel like ‘work’, I’ve started calling it homeplay! The more you prioritise your homeplay in a fun, openminded and curious mindset, the more benefit and joy you will experience.
Homeplay usually consists of exercises, games and ideas to try at home – solo or with a partner, building on some of the skills we worked on in session. These are fun things to try at home, consisting of worksheets, games, exercises or videos to watch. The games are all designed to appeal to the different ways that we as humans connect; physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually, so you are seeing value from the very first session.
I’m curious but still really nervous! What if it’s not right for me?
That’s completely normal and understandable. Talking about sex can be really challenging. I will do everything I can to make you feel safe and comfortable, and we will go at whatever pace works for you. If you have specific questions or concerns, feel free to get in touch with me, or book in a free 15 minute consultation to chat to me before booking in a full session.